Less than satisfactory some might say.

The challenge isn't quite out the window but I just love tournament playing so so much. I've been going with the super low stakes for over a week now in the cash games And it really has been one of those moment where you simply cannot win, I needed some fresh thinking so micro millions was of course the first thing that came to mind. So I entered a $4.40 rebuy tournament, fell just short of the maximum 4 rebuys and gave up. Then went for a $1 PCA satellite along with a $1.10 Courchevel tournament, just for a bit of fun. I am notoriously bad at courchevel so I promised myself I would just play for the smile it put on my face. Well frankly I lasted a lot longer than I intended to holding the top spot for a couple of hours. It really was by luck that I managed this, there was nothing about my play really keeping me there. It was only when I took my 4m+ chips to the final table that I met with my arch nemesis who swallowed me whole. I busted in 7th place for $54.49. I'm not massively happy as I could have lasted another couple of places, it was however a good few hours of fun :) and that was the idea. As for hold'em though, I really need to up my game.

@AntoniaChigurh

Here we go again!

I'm now taking a page from Chris Ferguson's book. A while back he raised $10,000 from nothing, he played freerolls to start his bankroll and kept going up and up and up.
My idea is a little different as I am starting with $10 and going to try and make a near $10k amount and better my playing. I have started right back down on the ground floor. I will be playing mainly cash games (and the odd PCA sat here and there since I really want to go!!) and have just made $1.10 in the last hour. I sat myself at two 1c/2c tables, one of them for only 20mins near the end. I have to make $10, raising my bankroll to $20 before I can move on to 2c/5c. Other rules; I cannot make any particularly risky moves and I am only allowed to play for an hour at a time with at least a 30min break in between. I will record all my wins and losses on here each time that I play and I will aim to play at least 7 hours each week. So for now:

Day 1: 1c/2c, 2 tables, +$1.10

One move moves everything.

I have not blogged in a while as much as I love blogging something happened which changed everything. My work placed moved me from Crewe to stoking shifting my mornings completely, I started working a Monday and a Thursday, creating odd hours at my other work place and I started going to the gym then I met a boy then he met someone else and where does poker fit in all of this?

Somewhere in 'For Richer For Poorer, Confessions of a Player' by Victoria Coren she writes how poker will always be there for her. The only thing it can do is financially cripple you, otherwise it's a good time. It doesn't walk away from you, it doesn't change the way it feels about and when you change the way you feel about it, it sits there and waits patiently until you're happy to go back to it. It's like one of the best friends you ever had. The Monday rebuy game at the pub; brilliant. There is nothing better than that game to take my mind off anything and everything, just a groups of guys and a girl all there to have a laugh and play some cards.

Now that I have walked back onto my poker platform I have something much bigger to aim for. The PCA. That's right, you heard me, the PokerStars Caribbean Adventure gracing the sunny shores at the Atlantis Resort from 7th January 2014. Just one small problem; I don't have $10,000, however I do have a PokerStars account, I also have $100 and to go along with it,  I have a good enough knowledge of the game. So it's been satellite time for a week now and I have got no further than round 2 on the satellites. Round 1 is a breeze but then Round 2 comes a long with its sharp even teeth and huge over betters like the talons of an evil eagle waiting to strike down on me and tear me go pieces. Then I go away, sit and think about what I did wrong then go straight back in the next day.

Watch this space, I will move into that number 1 position naturally. It's going to take days, it's going to take hours, it may even take the next few months but I can be there just like everyone else.

@AntoniaChigurh

Get down on it.

On Sunday I had a load of work to do for my portfolio and kept trying to find excuses to start later and later and later. Poker seemed like a good and friendly idea since I haven't played in a few weeks from my losing streak. When I have taken a break I always come back fresher and stronger. I seem to know when a good time to bluff is even without looking twice. I went back in on the complete micro stakes and cashed in two 50¢ 360 player sit & go events. The first time I finished 30th and the second 16th. There was an element of good luck to the extent of me using good cards to knock others out and those cards actually hitting this time. I also saw other players in my previous position where they were short stacked, playing good cards but just weren't getting anywhere with them.

Last night I couldn't help myself, it was late but I just had to play something to settle me down ready for bed. Perfect, a 9 player turbo sit & go at $1.50, at this point I didn't care too much if I won, it was a nice idea but just wanted a little wind down fun before hitting the sheets. I managed it, that moment when I became heads-up, it all came back to all the practice I had done in heads-up play since I used to dread it, my huge weak point; passing chips from one person to another until you agree to see some cards. But this time I felt strong, from practicing heads-up and reading an article on it you can kind of see some logic to this madness and you can pick up the odd bluff. I won my $5.95 first prize and it has to be said, I did feel a little smug after.

@AntoniaChigurh

Back on the board

I have come to recognise that I have not blogged for almost a month and this can only be because of the lack of poker I have been playing and reading about. The WSOP to myself seems too much of a mess, too many events and too many players, they even scared me away for twitter with too many posts. It also didn't help that I have been on a constant losing streak over the past month which seems to have put me off all together. As Jake Cody tweeted very recently '@JakeCody: The guy at the cash desk didn't even say good luck he said 'enjoy' he's not wrong :-)' but you can't have fun if you don't win at all. If there isn't that reasonable divide somewhere what the hell am I to do? I loved poker with all my heart and this year I was really meant to work on it, but it's too difficult when there's no shiny sparkly light at the end of it. At least I know the answer to that PokerPlayer magazine question which is: Would you rather lose or never play?

@AntoniaChigurh
38

Near win but not quite

It seems that recently I am spending loads of money of poker and not getting anything back. I realise once again that cash games aren't my strong point and that tourneys are a hell of a lot more fun especially when you pop the money bubble. Of course, where would the fun be in poker if you never won anything? Truth be told, I would never play if I never won. And I think that goes for more than almost everyone.

Yesterday I decided since I was low on money that I would go for super micro stakes sit & gos. I found 10¢ 360 player sit & gos on Pokerstars; perfect. I must have played 3 or 4 of them in total, lasting at least an hour each time bit never cashed. Each time hitting a brilliant hand but not coming out with the goods on the other side. You had to finish in the top 36 to be payed and on the last go I hit 39 and realised I should probably pack it in for the day. I was however off work for having a migraine so I really shouldn't have been acing my computer monitor anyway.

Because I played poker and spent £170 on a leather jacket and now sit in Crewe train station again with a painful head feeling slightly guilty I took the day off yesterday. Oh well. Here's to concentration...I just wish the guy sitting next to me would stop tapping his foot on the ground whilst reading the paper. My head is banging.

@AntoniaChigurh

OMG

I was trying to see if I could make it, only watching the EPT and catching up with updates posted on the poker news website, unfortunately, this doesn't seem to cut it for me. I went to my poker game on Monday night last week, it felt like a lot more fun than usual, especially hitting that straight flush that I didn't even notice and only one person did notice that my 10 of diamonds beat Fraser's K of the same suit. Thank goodness that 8d was there as this had created an absolutely massive pot. I still finished quite early but got a couple of hours worth of game play, and, managed to only play my £5 and restrained myself at add on stage.

This huge urge inside of my could not carry on settling for just reading about poker, I had to play it. I thought $10 will not do too much harm, I also had an overwhelming need to get on zoom poker, which is odd, considering I have been trying to steer clear of it since losing a load of rush poker all those years ago. On this particular Thursday evening though, zoom went well I my favour and I needed up more than $10 up, but I couldn't stop there. Knowing I had work the next day and being 10pm I did something I told myself not to. I entered the big $4.40 tournament with a guaranteed prize pool of $15k, I had fun, I had a good run too. I then had to make the decision to bust out in 600 and something place for just over $8 as it was 2am and waking up 3 hours later didn't seem like so much fun.

On Sunday rush poker had mixed feelings for me, I was yo-yoing like crazy. I had to make the decision to fold all hands that didn't contain 2 picture cards along with KJo and an AA since have done nothing but lose a mother load of cash each time these hands have showed their faces this past week. Ultimate madness. So I went round to my dads and thought this wasn't good enough and that I had 'unfinished business' and lost it all. Just going to have to wait until pay day on Friday now. Maybe I'll get some sleep this week.

@AntoniaChigurh