What does happiness mean to you? It is a state of mind and can be determined and changed by enviromental factors. My step mother inspired me when I met her a few years ago to just become a more positive person. With this I have been a lot less shy and more comfortable in myself but yet still there are people and conditions that will bring me down. But that's the same for everyone. But is it bad that I block certain people out because I cannot be doing with their negativity? Since Tuesday last week I have been in such an odd mood, talking about things I wouldn't normally, not feeling completely certain about myself and generally just a little insecure. This has then led me to some weird madness about trying to change loads of tiny insignificant little things that wouldn't normally matter. It's like I am literally just stressing about myself. Just myself, nothing else. The last time I did this my best friend was suffering from depression and I was 17 years old, feeling extremely shy and ugly. I needed to escape so I chose to move to Weymouth to do my degree, to be far a away in a completely different environment. It was there that I found poker and building on that over the past few years along with the friendships I have made I have been able to become a much greater person.
So this week, this god damn week where I have been acting just plain odd, I hope to close off today. I think my friend Reece has picked up on it a bit and has generally just been really nice like the fantastic person he is. And I just got back on the poker because even though online isn't as much fun, my pub game isn't running :(. But this is it, I'm going to stop nit picking at myself just because of one person. Everything is brilliant once more. Though there's something missing; a real game of poker must be arranged. Love you all :)
